In my reflections, if a bona fide member of the academy comments that my reflection contains either an original thought or argument, I will note it in that reflection. Also, if it is brought to my attention that what I have said is also mentioned in another source, I will also note it. My intention in these reflections is to stimulate inquiry, imagination, and broadening of horizons.- JP
Note: The most recent reflection is at the top and my first is at the bottom. You can either start at the bottom of the well and swim up or start at the top and dive in, your choice. – JP
13 Hours 12 May 2022
OK, Sooo, 13 hours in the surgical chair, three quarter size carcinomas removed from my scalp, thirty-six stitches and seventy staples and to top it off, a six inch by three inch football shaped pig skin graph ( I have since eaten bacon and my head did not explode). After the bandages I looked like a Qtip. Downside, it will take time for the graph to wear off. Upside, I won’t need a Halloween costume, just take off my hat and scare all the little kids who come to the door.
I do have to say that from the first exam, through the surgery and follow ups, I have been treated by top notch surgeons, pathologist, nurses, techs and administration which has taken the edge off an otherwise very serious experience. Still have a cancer care consult, and PET scan to determine if radiation is a necessary follow up. All this leads me to an admonishment.
Wear a hat and sunscreen and forget the tanning. If you don’t, you may experience constant, low intensity brain pain that will definitely change your personality (not for the better). If you think “It’s only skin cancer”, when you get your skull scaped and then told, “If you feel like you are having a stroke because some air may have gotten through the skull, get to the ER”. SAY WHAT!!!
Fortunately, I did not have that experience and while in the the chair, got to binge a good portion of Stargate: SG-1 on the TV mounted on the wall to take your mind off the procedure.
The reflection from this experience is we are not alone spiritually and find support from people expected and unexpected. I did not expect the Husky blanket from my Rotary club to use while sleep for two weeks in the recliner to keep my head upright. The cat did not expect she would hve such a soft place to sleep either. I did not expect the cards or sweets offered out of the blue. I am more than grateful for the experience and am more than ready to share it with anyone who is curious or facing a similar situation because we are all connected and in this together. And now I have a craving for a BLT.
Joy is the Vehicle 03/29/22
It has been a long time since my last reflection. I, like many others, to a lesser or greater degree, entered the survival mode and became content from day to day to concentrate on not catching Covid and living in a bubble. Add to that the last five weeks and succumbing to throwing up your hands in resignation is a real feeling. However, for me, that would mean I would abandon all the learning and experience of my years and facing that prospect brought me up short. I realized, I do not want to do that. So what to do? Facing two upcoming operations brings focus and a deep dive into existence.
I believe that all creation is one existence with many aspects. I also believe that there are threads that existed at the beginning and connect all that is. I also believe, as many have stated through out the ages, that when God/Source became aware, Delight and Unconditional Love were intrinsic qualities. God made a decision to bring this existence into being to share those qualities. God also made the decision to manifest unique spiritual beings to learn to balance delight and its opposite. So why an opposite of delight? Delight can not be experienced if there is nothing else. I can only surmise about the origin of the opposite of delight, but I believe we are the origin. That conclusion brings me to our current state of affairs.
Imagination and freedom of choice are our operating characteristics. Even if you subscribe to the belief there is an external force imposing current circumstances on you, it is a belief, you can’t prove it one way or another. And because we have made the choices that have brought forth our current situation, we can make choices that change it. One of the choices I have made is to step back and try my best to see creation as a whole that is unified in every aspect.
If I did not step back, I would miss encountering the myriad examples of those factors of delight that exist in this world. I delight in contemplating who built sites we are finding from the highest mountains in Peru, to the deepest parts of the oceans. I am delighted in being able to learn about the discoveries of the smallest particles of matter and theories of time travel. I am delighted to know about and experience of people supporting people. I am delighted about the smorgasbord of discovery that makes up life. And I choose to be delighted. So how do I employ the choice? I choose to drive a vehicle that is Joy, fueled by Unconditional Love.